Copernican System, Inc

A Day in the Life of the Copernican System, Inc. CEO


 

Cast

 

Lon Phillips-CEO Copernican System, Inc.

Kathy Brown-the omnipresent, omniscient computer (Named in honor of one of my best friends who died January 11, 2012 while trying to stop her truck from running into a neighbor’s garage.  She will be missed by everyone who was lucky enough to know her.)

Tara Whitson-RN @ SystemMed

Erin Martin-RN @ SystemMed

Bethany Eberly-Personal Assistant

JB Jansen-Best friend


 

Lon floated into his office pod on Space Station Asimov after pausing at the Heroes of Spaceflight exhibit,a series of photos about early space explorers, and sat in his RelaxaChair, which immediately formed itself to his body..

 

Hi Kathy!  How is my favorite computer today?

 

I’m your ONLY computer, aren’t I?  o’ master?

 

So, you’re DEFINITELY my favorite!  What do I have on my plate today?

 

You need to email Food.Inc to get more supplies.  I notice you had some ice cream last night, although it WAS no-sugar-added, so I added that to your grocery list  Also, my sensors noticed your catheter needs replacing so I entered a note in Tara’s schedule to come by and change it.  She’s on the running track with Erin, so I’ll make sure it’s top-of-mind on her to-do list.  AND, you didn’t sleep well last night, so I increased your dosage of cyclobenzaprine temporarily.

 

If you would be so kind and email the shopping list to them, I would appreciate it!

 

Done, your highness!  Next, Erin  and Tara want Thursday off for their RN refresher course.  I HOPED you’d let them, so I paid the fees and booked them time in the Learning Pod.  

 

How astute of you!

 

JB is going to the asteroid belt to harvest some more minerals.  She should be back tomorrow or Wednesday.  She wanted you to know because you were looking for some new ones for your collection and she said she would bring you some IF  (HER emphasis on the if!) she remembers....

 

Bethany wants to know if you need any disks for your Reader and HOPES your laundry was done to your  EXACTING standards.!

 

Tell her that’s more than enough.  She can rest and get ready for her virtual church service. AND ask her how I can POSSIBLY have the laundry done better than she does and to keep her sarcasm within reasonable bounds?  I get enough of that from you!

 

Anything important happen I should know about?  

 

The Luna Executive board is trying to increase the tourist entry fee again.  They want the money to add more rovers to their fleet.  They lost three in that traffic jam on Mare Tranquillitatis in January.

 

By how much?  If it’s less than 5%, tell them okay.

 

It’s 3.5%.  Consider them told!  The Asteroid Collective wants the new tractor beams installed, so they are asking some of the miners to consider taking time from their busy schedules to do that for them.

 

Jupiter Station recorded three quakes this morning, the largest a Magnitude 3.729.

 

Anyone hurt?

 

A few minor injuries, but nothing requiring hospitalization.

Pluto Project  had three deaths, all android.   Appropriate condolences are enroute.  Preliminary investigation states the cause as the rover track being busted up on some rock..    Final report should arrive any minute.

Let me know what it says.  In the meantime, I’ve got some ‘governing’ to do, with your permission, your Royal Majesty?

 

I *guess* I’ll let you as long as you don’t work TOO hard, Emperor!

 

Thank you, Kathy!  I seriously think you should have my job, since you do most of the work!  But, until then...

 

Thank YOU, sir!  Here’s the final report from Pluto Station.  A very sharp rock fragment got in the track and separated two segments.  I took the liberty of emailing updated specifications to the Manufacturing Planet

 

It’s almost noon.  What’s for lunch, Master?

 

An Unsloppy Josephina, please!

 

Okay, one sloppy joe, hold the mess!

 

Care to join me or are your circuits full?

 

I could use some topping off if that’s okay, Your  Highness!

 

No business then while we partake of this sumptuous feast!

 

You call one sloppy joe a FEAST?

 

I try to watch my waist.  Don’t SUCCEED, but I try!  I just have to get it out there where I can see it first!

 

Once lunch was finished, Lon returned to his office and settled back in his chair.    He spooled up one if his disks and started reading, but quickly laid back and closed his eyes.  Kathy interrupted his daydreaming.

 

What use is schooling you in hyperspace theory if you fall asleep at the first multisyllabic word!

 

Actually, it was the first word period, but it took my head a few seconds to hit the desk!

 

Okay, a little quiz then.  What is hyperspace?

 

It is typically described as an alternative region of space co-existing with our own universe which may be entered using an energy field or other device.  At least, according to Wikipedia!

 

You passed, student!  You’re not as dumb as you look!

 

Well, it wouldn’t take much, but thanks!  Now, I *think* I’ve got my next lesson...let me see....it should just take a second....

 

Second’s up!

 

A minute or three, then?

 

If you insist!

 

Any other news?

 

Nothing right now.  I’ll alert you if you’re needed!

 

I might as well go to bed, then!

 

Sweet dreams, sir!

 

At that, Lon went blissfully to sleep, knowing Kathy had everything under control.. half an hour later, refreshed, Lon woke up from his nap to hear Kathy whistling to herself.  

 

What is that tune?

 

Mr. Roboto by an group in the last century called Styx , sir.

 

For a computer, you have a very nice voice!

 

Thank you, sir!   I try!

 

Sir?  Sir,? Sir, your blood pressure just fell dangerously low, 50/0.  Lay down and I’ll page Tara.

 

Quickly, footsteps approached.  Tara entered the room, a doctor’s bag in her hand.

 

Is his BP still really low? Tara asked.

 

Yes ma’am.  It’s now 30/0.  

 

Tara took out a small bar of chocolate, put it on Lon’s tongue and massaged his throat until he swallowed it.

 

You scared us, Lon.  

 

I just wanted to see if you were paying attention!  Thank you, ladies!

 

You’re very welcome, sir!  Should we have him lay down, Tara?

 

He needs to stay in a sitting position, Kathy.  Keep monitoring his vitals and make sure his mind is occupied.  That’ll raise his BP to more normal levels.

 

I am right here, you know!

 

And you almost weren’t!  You ARE my only patient and I want to keep my paycheck coming!  

 

You’ll be paid after I’m dead, but only half wages so you won’t have an incentive to kill me!

 

He doesn’t really think that, does he?  Kathy asked Tara on a private channel.

 

No he doesn’t.  He’s just kidding again!

 

Thank you!  I was very worried.  He should know how much we care for him.  

 

He does, but he uses jokes to hide it because he cares for us even more and prefers we not know.  He doesn’t have many true friends.  You, JB, Erin, Bethany and me are it.

 

Are you two plotting behind my back? Lon asked on the main channel.

 

Oh, no, sir!  We would NEVER do that!  

 

Anyway, I appreciate both of you.  Thank you, again.

 

You’re welcome, sir!

 

You’re welcome, Lon!  I’m going to run some more.  I’ll leave you in Kathy’s capable care.  With that, Tara left the office.

 

By the way, Kathy, I heard every word.  When you’re serious, you call me sir.  You were really afraid.  I didn’t think computers knew fear.

 

Only second hand through our masters., sir.

 

I know you’re ‘only’ a computer, but I consider you a good friend.  Thank you, friend.

 

You’re very welcome, your highness!


Now we’re back to normal!  Although, I think you’re entitled to call me whatever you want, considering.